The Voices of Shame and Grace

The Voices of Shame and Grace

 “And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed…Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked.” Gen 2:25, 3:7

Even though God calls us his beloved, his treasured possession, the apple of his eye, we keep listening instead to the shaming voices of others, the Accuser, and our own self-condemning voices. “You’re not enough. If people really knew the real you, they would reject you. You had better put on a mask and pretend that you are who you think others want you to be.”

Whether you realize it or not, shame is a major barrier that keeps you from experiencing the depth of closeness with God and others that you desire. Shame is an unshakable belief that I do not just do bad things, but that in my deepest identity I am only bad. Shame smothers our new identity in Christ. Shame is a defining fear that I am unworthy of love, grace, and connection with God or others

Shame is the lie that I cannot trust another with the deepest parts of my soul. Thus, shame drives us to be either a people-avoider or a people-pleaser. Shame is the lie that I can never be good enough for God. Thus, shame drives us to be either a God-avoider or a God-performer.

Here’s the gospel…Shame and grace cannot coincide in the same heart. The cure for shame is to become a God-truster.

Yet, as The Cure expresses this: We continually find ourselves in two possible rooms. The Room of Good Intentions is where we strive hard through self-effort to be all we think God wants us to be. The Room of Grace is where we rest in trust and live out of who God says we already are in Christ. The voices we listen to determine the room we live in.

There will always be the voices of the Deceiver, of others, and our own voice that speaks shame to us. The cure for our sin, sorrow, and shame is to hear continually the Trinity’s voice of delight, love, and grace. Listen for the voice of Father God... “Who told you that you were unacceptable, unworthy? I surely did not! Because you are in Christ, I’m crazy about you. Even in your darkest moments, I am there, forgiving you, delighting in you, calling you back into my arms of love. Come home my child to my room of grace.”

Dr. Christopher English

September 2019

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